I’ve always loved the early morning, and I’ve always liked writing in the morning, so now the blog just gives me a place to do what I already have long enjoyed. Lately, I just feel like I wake, exploding with a sense of gratitude for actually waking up. When you have brain surgery, and they talk you through the process of the surgery, and all of the lines they put in your body “just in case” which is how they describe it to you (meaning, they are tactfully but clearly that they all hope the surgery will go the best possible way, but, from a prepping perspective, they assume the worst, so they get every line in place that they might need, in case it doesn’t go as planned. Now, there’s something about hearing this explanation from a really wonderful and compassionate group but who also could appreciate my own need for no sugar coating that has really stayed with me, even post surgery. It really sunk in, in spite of the anesthesia and all the drugs.
I’m not one that shies away from living with a clear understanding of the possibility of dying — That’s actually been a part of having epilepsy since I first learned of “sudden epilepsy onset death syndrome.” I also do work, that I love, in which mortality is never very far away.
However, on this early Wednesday morning, I’m just wide awake and feeling so thankful for being alive, having a brain that can register the very early beginnings of the sun coming up, that can feel the anticipation in my body of dancing with friends today (both taking a class with Mary Trotter and teaching, later on today) . . . . It’s got me doing a little “jiggle of joy” just thinking about all of it (my Mom would tell you that I’ve always done the little jiggle of joy when I get excited about something).
And now, lets I get too esoteric, my spiritual mentor, Senor the Cat, is bringing me right back to the important things — like that I need to stop writing, because he needs outside, in order to commune with the beauty of the early day.
Enjoy your day, whatever it holds instore!