Some one asked this question, and it’s a really good question with a complicated answer. During my first post-op appointment with the neurosurgeon, he basically told us that we were going to have to just “wait and see” if, over a period of time, my seizure activity was reduced. Even that is complicated, because I’ve always had both “partial” (“little”) seizures as well as “generalized” seizures. So, it’s an interesting thing to wait and see if nothing is going to happen! My doctor was also clear that, if I had a seizure, it did not mean that the surgery was not successful. After brain surgery, it takes awhile for everything to settle into “the new normal,” so it can take awhile for the “success” to really be determined.
However, in my case, I’m happy to say that, so far, I have had ZERO seizures since I had the surgery. None. Not even the little ones. And, from my own perspective, so far, things feel “different” in my brain. It’s a lot quieter, and I also feel like I have more energy (I know, watch out, if Kristine has MORE energy than before). I guess the way I would describe it is that I think it is an ongoing “drain” of energy when you are constantly having and recovering from small and not so small seizures. Now, I don’t have that drain everyday to every week, as I did before. There used to be these days when I felt as if I was having a “fight” with the seizures, as I attempted to stave them off, and now I don’t have that sense.
So, so far, so good. I try to stay in a realistic place about it, but it does feel incredible to be living in a body that isn’t having regular seizures — when I sleep, little ones throughout the day, and then, the “big ones” that disrupt everything in life.
So that’s the report from inside my brain. I feel great. I am pretty much back to my regular yoga/dance teaching schedule and I can continue to tell that the body memory continues to help my brain and my thought process heal. It’s still very strange to be “inside” a brain that I don’t really recognize as being “my” brain. I found myself longing, the other day, for my “old” brain — the one that was familiar. This new one is fascinating, but sometimes it would feel really nice to have the process of thinking go the way that it used to and not have it feel so unusual, as it continues to feel right now. When it gets to be too much, I just take a nice long nap.
So, over all, things are really, really good, and I continue to just be so tickled that I am alive, waking up, thinking, doing things like going to our daughter’s Parent’s weekend at Whitman College . . . All of those little and big things that make us human and alive.
I can’t say it enough . . . enjoy every minute of it!